A couple nights ago*, someone, who shall remain nameless, locked one of our dogs outside overnight and let the other one inside. This morning when questioned, Nora said it was probably Swiper. Now, if you don’t have a toddler/preschooler, you may wonder who the heck this is who Nora is convinced broke into our home for the sole purpose of locking our dog outside.  Oh, you hypothetical person who lacks knowledge of all things Swiper, I envy you.  Swiper is a cartoon fox on the horrible, horrible television show, Dora the Explorer.

Just typing the name I hear the theme in my head and it sends chills down my spine… We do not watch Dora at our house anymore. Nora watches it with her grandparents or friends, but it’s outlawed from our house, at least when I am home. Daddy is occasionally still a sucker (love you!), but for the most part I successfully avoid this show.  When Nora was smaller, there was no avoiding it.  It was the only show to hold her interest for quite awhile.  This child, apparently in rural Mexico, is running around unsupervised with a monkey and a magic backpack or some such nonsense, and this fox keeps taking her stuff and throwing it away.  He doesn’t even keep what he steals, just doesn’t want her to have it.  This somehow resonates with Nora on a deep level on all sides of the equation.  She has had mixed feelings about Swiper for a long time…  Sometimes she claims Swiper is her best friend.  Sometimes she is afraid that Swiper will kill either me or her father, or kidnap her sister, or just take our stuff and throw it somewhere as Swiper does on the television show.

“Swiper’s going to take our toilet! And daddy’s tools! And my broken shovel! Well, he can take my broken shovel, but not all our stuff!”

“You’d better keep a hand on those Legos or Swiper will swipe them!”

(When asked why she was sad) “I just really don’t want Swiper to steal my baby sister.  I just like her and don’t want Swiper to take her.”

We had a break of probably 8 months or so where Swiper was rarely, if ever, blamed for the goings on in our home.  I’m not sure what inspired the resurgence of Swiper attacks, but I have a sneaking suspicion it may have been Nora’s inability to convince us that Emeline (8 months old, currently) was perpetrating the sneaky crimes in our household, such as missing socks, spilled glasses, hidden cell phones… Damn that sneaky, sneaky fox.

*This started out as “Last night,” but I am really great at getting distracted as of late…  Hey, at least I finished it eventually!